Well, here I am again...older? (yes), wiser? (hopefully)
Rol and I celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary May 30th. 60 years! I had trouble believing that I was 60 years old, and now I am 82.
How can it be? I can still drive a car, mow the lawn, make rational decisions (at least I hope they are rational)
Jesus is still the anchor that holds me, the hope that makes every day worth while.
Rol and I went sailing to celebrate our anniversary....I think there must be salt water in our veins.
We sailed on board the largest square-rigger in the world out of Malaja, Spain. It carried us acorss the Mediterranean to the port of Rome, down the coast of Italy, to Sicily and back to Rome. We had a grand time.
It may be our last trip, but it was a wonderful one.
However, Roland just returned from a trip of his own...to the hospital with a return of difficulties with his heart..But he came home in time to celebrate his 84th birthday surrounded by 14 members of our family (may the Lord bless them for coming, working, preparing, and rejoicing with us).
Now, our lives resume again, cautiously but also with faith. The Lord continues to bless us, protect us, and encourage us...what more can we ask?!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Rainy days are for reminiscing. and for anticipating.
Five years have passed since I wrote about Millie...She's buried in our back yard in a garden full of roses! And, when I'm weeding, I talk to her. But the Lord sent us a new puppy and the past seems less painful.
"Shadow" was a wonderful surprise...I'm sure the Lord sent her because we had no intention of filling the "dog hole" in our lives after Millie passed on. She quickly left the other puppies, sat down in front of Rol, and spread her little back legs into Millie's "frog position."
She had been born on our anniversary and bringing her home was too hard to resist. Suddenly, we were dog-owners, caretakers, trainers, and at peace once again.
Shadow was supposed to be a Labradoodle. We met her parents before we said, "yes."
Her dad was a very large lab and her mother was a good-sized poodle...We didn't want a lap-dog; but as she grew we suspected that our "labradoodle" had other family ties. And, one morning as we left Pet Smart with our latest Shadow-food, we ran into what appeared to be her twin..
I smiled and asked if, by chance, the approaching puppy was from the same litter as Shadow.....
There was a short pause, and an insulted response..."Our dog is not a mutt...she is a Irish Wolf Hound"
Whoops! they looked like twins. My Shadow had a secret past!
She has been growing ever since, but not as much (thank you, Lord) as might be expected from her now-known ancestry. At 3 she weighs in at 75 lbs.. And she's smart! Amazingly smart! She can (and quickly does) identify friends and not-so-comfortable strangers, She "talks to us" letting us know what she needs, what we need to know, and who she likes!
She pulls our arms off when we try to walk her on an open leash, but patiently trots alongside of me on a short leash when I need her.
When I weed the garden, I still talk to Millie.
I've told about her about Shadow and believe that . . .somewhere, some day.. in heaven they will meet and play and delight the Lord who chose to send them both for us.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
For Millie...the nicest shar pei that ever lived..
Millie, our Shar Pei passed on last March.
She'd been dragging a bit, but the Vet said she was okay; so we took her with us for a month in Florida. On the first night out she was terribly sick.
The next morning we took her to a local vet outside Richmond. He thought it was the car ride; but Millie had happily joined us on many journeys and we were uncertain.
We went on..a bit more slowly..stopping an extra night along the way before going on to Marathon. She didn't get sick again, but it didn't take a vet to say that things were not good. We went straight to her favorite "puppy park" and she managed to chase a slow moving gecko; but that night she couldn't eat. She patiently stood while we fed her Ensure through a syringe.
She slept; but in the morning we asked a neighbor to recommend another vet. He took X-rays and even I could see that her esophagus had swollen to fill most of her throat and all of her chest. There was nothing he could do and finally, feeling like we were betraying her, we let him put Millie into her final sleep.
We spent the rest of the vacation at the cottage we had rented, trying to keep busy with one thing or another and trying to convince ourselves that we had done the best we could. It didn't work very well.
We found a nice box for her ashes and returned in a very empty car to a very empty house. She is buried under the lilac bush with a small angel statue standing guard
Somewhere along the way home I misplaced my bible and it almost seemed like I had misplaced God. I had been given the responsibility of loving that little creature; but I had been inadequate. The words, "If only I'd...." kept popping into my mind.
But life goes on. March turned into April and we celebrated the first grandchild wedding.
Every step I took was painful and I was looking forward to having my knee replaced. I had been bothered by it for a year before we went to Florida, seen a couple of surgeons, and finally made arrangements with a well known surgeon to do it on May 10.
The surgery took my mind off Millie. It was very successful, but it required most of my time and efforts to get the new knee to operate in coordination with the rest of me. By July I was really feeling like myself again, with the exception of the empty place in our house and hearts.
Finally, we decided to look for a new Shar Pei, it would be our third (Mei Lei had come before Millie and was also buried in the back yard.
Finding a, can we say it.."replacement", dog was not easy. We saw quite a few Shar Pei's and then saw an advertisement for home-grown Labradoodles. I had never seen one before.
We sat in the breeder's backyard and watched as her two remaining puppies chased each other across a porch while the parent dogs watched from behind a tall fence.
I was dubious, but suddenly one of the pups laid down right in front of Rol, spread her legs out in back of herself like a little frog. It has been Millie's favorite position and we were smitten.
We picked the puppy up the next day, took her to Millie's vet, and bought her on the way home.
Do I feel less emotional about Millie..No, I used up several tissues writing this.
Do I think we are nuts bringing home another dog when we are 80 years old? Probably.
But life without Millie will not change. Life with a dog companion can go on and so we are back to potty training, leash training, vet visits...but we have a purpose and a friend. Life goes on.
She'd been dragging a bit, but the Vet said she was okay; so we took her with us for a month in Florida. On the first night out she was terribly sick.
The next morning we took her to a local vet outside Richmond. He thought it was the car ride; but Millie had happily joined us on many journeys and we were uncertain.
We went on..a bit more slowly..stopping an extra night along the way before going on to Marathon. She didn't get sick again, but it didn't take a vet to say that things were not good. We went straight to her favorite "puppy park" and she managed to chase a slow moving gecko; but that night she couldn't eat. She patiently stood while we fed her Ensure through a syringe.
She slept; but in the morning we asked a neighbor to recommend another vet. He took X-rays and even I could see that her esophagus had swollen to fill most of her throat and all of her chest. There was nothing he could do and finally, feeling like we were betraying her, we let him put Millie into her final sleep.
We spent the rest of the vacation at the cottage we had rented, trying to keep busy with one thing or another and trying to convince ourselves that we had done the best we could. It didn't work very well.
We found a nice box for her ashes and returned in a very empty car to a very empty house. She is buried under the lilac bush with a small angel statue standing guard
Somewhere along the way home I misplaced my bible and it almost seemed like I had misplaced God. I had been given the responsibility of loving that little creature; but I had been inadequate. The words, "If only I'd...." kept popping into my mind.
But life goes on. March turned into April and we celebrated the first grandchild wedding.
Every step I took was painful and I was looking forward to having my knee replaced. I had been bothered by it for a year before we went to Florida, seen a couple of surgeons, and finally made arrangements with a well known surgeon to do it on May 10.
The surgery took my mind off Millie. It was very successful, but it required most of my time and efforts to get the new knee to operate in coordination with the rest of me. By July I was really feeling like myself again, with the exception of the empty place in our house and hearts.
Finally, we decided to look for a new Shar Pei, it would be our third (Mei Lei had come before Millie and was also buried in the back yard.
Finding a, can we say it.."replacement", dog was not easy. We saw quite a few Shar Pei's and then saw an advertisement for home-grown Labradoodles. I had never seen one before.
We sat in the breeder's backyard and watched as her two remaining puppies chased each other across a porch while the parent dogs watched from behind a tall fence.
I was dubious, but suddenly one of the pups laid down right in front of Rol, spread her legs out in back of herself like a little frog. It has been Millie's favorite position and we were smitten.
We picked the puppy up the next day, took her to Millie's vet, and bought her on the way home.
Do I feel less emotional about Millie..No, I used up several tissues writing this.
Do I think we are nuts bringing home another dog when we are 80 years old? Probably.
But life without Millie will not change. Life with a dog companion can go on and so we are back to potty training, leash training, vet visits...but we have a purpose and a friend. Life goes on.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Home is where the heart is
The river is still flowing...down from hills unseen towards the bay and then the open ocean... and my life is still flowing along..although at times it seems to be going over rocks and even into eddies where it pauses to contemplate the scenery.
Last Saturday was our 56th wedding anniversary..
For weeks Rol has been asking me what I wanted to do.. i had quite a mental list; but some of the things on it don't fall into the "what I can do now" class. I'd like to go to NYC to see Screwtape Letters; but getting there, walking around with a gimpy leg didn't seem to fit into the plan.
I'd like to go to Paris again..why Paris? because it's there..although the first time I was there some grateful Frenchman tried to steal my purse. Perhaps it would have been better to go back to Germany...Frankfort, Bieber, Offenbach, ..places out of our first year of marriage.
But we decided to go to the Saturday party at the local yacht club. We were ending a day of yard-pickup when Rol suggested I check on the time. I told him it started at 5PM, but he insisted. I checked. 5PM was right, but the day was not Saturday (our anniversary day)..it was Sunday, the day after. Whoops! At least we didn't get dressed before we checked it out.
What could we do to celebrate?
Mike and Stef had asked us over for supper; but we'd told them we were busy and now we didn't want to put Stef on the line to expand her menu..
It was a holiday (Memorial Day)..the restaurants would be full. I made a nice dinner ..and we watched the river flow by. Home is where the heart is!!
Last Saturday was our 56th wedding anniversary..
For weeks Rol has been asking me what I wanted to do.. i had quite a mental list; but some of the things on it don't fall into the "what I can do now" class. I'd like to go to NYC to see Screwtape Letters; but getting there, walking around with a gimpy leg didn't seem to fit into the plan.
I'd like to go to Paris again..why Paris? because it's there..although the first time I was there some grateful Frenchman tried to steal my purse. Perhaps it would have been better to go back to Germany...Frankfort, Bieber, Offenbach, ..places out of our first year of marriage.
But we decided to go to the Saturday party at the local yacht club. We were ending a day of yard-pickup when Rol suggested I check on the time. I told him it started at 5PM, but he insisted. I checked. 5PM was right, but the day was not Saturday (our anniversary day)..it was Sunday, the day after. Whoops! At least we didn't get dressed before we checked it out.
What could we do to celebrate?
Mike and Stef had asked us over for supper; but we'd told them we were busy and now we didn't want to put Stef on the line to expand her menu..
It was a holiday (Memorial Day)..the restaurants would be full. I made a nice dinner ..and we watched the river flow by. Home is where the heart is!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Some curves are sharp.
How nice it would be if all the turns in our lives were curved slowly and securely to the banks of our river-of-life. But lately some streams seem to have a life of their own...stirring the mud and jabbing out into a fast moving current where I have little control.
Two years ago when I was 76, and feeling 56, one hit me hard. I went to the hospital with what I thought was appendicitis...eleven days later I emerged after a hysterectomy and the knowledge that I had been harboring a cancer in one of my ovaries.
That incident stretched over nearly two year...an adventure with chemo that took away the strength in my legs...hair loss (much more traumatic than I had expected) and a loss of recall..i.e. names and words that dropped out of my memory like dead leaves.
Then, while slowly recovering, we drove over a bump on Rte 70 and I received a sudden jab to my back, extending down my left leg and making it impossible for me to walk without support (a cane or crutches). We were headed for a cruise through the Panama Canal and I was unwilling to give up...so I hobbled along for over 8000 miles (that's the distance the boat traveled..not me)..from Miami to San Diego.
When we got home we joined a gym and I went to work trying to recover the lost strength by swimming up and down a warm pool. It helped until several sharp pains in my belly (which should have warned me) culminated in a hurried visit to another hospital..where they removed my gallbladder. Again, the weakness and frustration came...bearing me along this tide of misfortune..away from the comfort of my own strength and forcing me to depend on others. Gone were the hard-earned gains of leg strength...gone was the idea that hospital stays were quickly productive..gone forever.
But there is a scripture that rings in my head..It's the incident where Jesus heals the lepers..only He didn't heal them on the spot...Scripture says..."as they went they were healed" With that driving me, I've launched into more exercise, pushing myself into public occasions and familiar routines, and hoping that I will be healed as I go.
I'm also hoping that the currents that drive me in the future will have a more gentle nature..
Two years ago when I was 76, and feeling 56, one hit me hard. I went to the hospital with what I thought was appendicitis...eleven days later I emerged after a hysterectomy and the knowledge that I had been harboring a cancer in one of my ovaries.
That incident stretched over nearly two year...an adventure with chemo that took away the strength in my legs...hair loss (much more traumatic than I had expected) and a loss of recall..i.e. names and words that dropped out of my memory like dead leaves.
Then, while slowly recovering, we drove over a bump on Rte 70 and I received a sudden jab to my back, extending down my left leg and making it impossible for me to walk without support (a cane or crutches). We were headed for a cruise through the Panama Canal and I was unwilling to give up...so I hobbled along for over 8000 miles (that's the distance the boat traveled..not me)..from Miami to San Diego.
When we got home we joined a gym and I went to work trying to recover the lost strength by swimming up and down a warm pool. It helped until several sharp pains in my belly (which should have warned me) culminated in a hurried visit to another hospital..where they removed my gallbladder. Again, the weakness and frustration came...bearing me along this tide of misfortune..away from the comfort of my own strength and forcing me to depend on others. Gone were the hard-earned gains of leg strength...gone was the idea that hospital stays were quickly productive..gone forever.
But there is a scripture that rings in my head..It's the incident where Jesus heals the lepers..only He didn't heal them on the spot...Scripture says..."as they went they were healed" With that driving me, I've launched into more exercise, pushing myself into public occasions and familiar routines, and hoping that I will be healed as I go.
I'm also hoping that the currents that drive me in the future will have a more gentle nature..
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
One of the bends in our river came when we were transferred to Washington DC.
We had been living in Westchester, NY. First there was an apartment, a husband and two little girls (born just one year apart). Then there was a larger apartment, a baby boy, two sisters, and a husband. Finally, there was a tall English Tudor, two little girls, and two little boys. We lived close to family, college and high school friends.. I was busy and happy.
But in DC our lives changed. We had a bigger house, a small sailboat on the Potomac, and children who were now at school all day. I painted the new house and wondered what I would be doing with the rest of my life. I tried playing bridge, got pretty good at the game, but was bored with the life style.
I was busy all summer with swimming lessons, swim meets, and new friends. But I wanted to do something more demanding, something that would allow me to work when the kids were at school but be home when they were home. School!!! That, I thought, could provide the answer.
Fairfax, Va has a county-wide school system and they were advertising for teachers. I had the right college credits and so I applied and went for an interview.
The young man who interviewed me was pleasant enough; but he made it clear that he thought I was too old. (I was 37). I was furious. I didn’t think of myself as"old." I had been rejected. As I left the office, I flung a parting comment over my shoulder, “I hope everyone you hire gets pregnant.”
The Lord works in mysterious ways…. A short while later I saw an advertisement in the paper for a "home-bound teacher". I applied and was enthusiastically accepted. That decision changed my life for years to come. The Lord had taken this opportunity to bend my river toward a pet project of His...kids with problems.
Oh yes, I even got the last laugh. When I was in line waiting for my TB X-ray a young woman approached me. She was the secretary of the man who had previously interviewed and rejected me. She was laughing. “Aren't you the lady who wished that everyone my boss hired would get pregnant?” I nodded. “Well, they did…most of them are expecting before the year is out.”
Th
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas 2009...Houston, Texas
Here I sit in my daughter Gail's living room...surrounded by six wonderful grandchildren and Ellie, my sweet granddaughter. How did I get to this stage of my life? It went by so fast and it has been so good. A wonderful husband, beautiful children, grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren. I find myself sitting watching them with wonder. God has been so good to me. So good to me.
My life has been surrounded by love and light...through difficult times and wonder filled moments.. The Lord has always been close..making sense out of all our experiences and drawing us closer and closer to His side. How kind. How gracious. How generous. Who am I? I can only answer, "His child"
My life has been surrounded by love and light...through difficult times and wonder filled moments.. The Lord has always been close..making sense out of all our experiences and drawing us closer and closer to His side. How kind. How gracious. How generous. Who am I? I can only answer, "His child"
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