How nice it would be if all the turns in our lives were curved slowly and securely to the banks of our river-of-life. But lately some streams seem to have a life of their own...stirring the mud and jabbing out into a fast moving current where I have little control.
Two years ago when I was 76, and feeling 56, one hit me hard. I went to the hospital with what I thought was appendicitis...eleven days later I emerged after a hysterectomy and the knowledge that I had been harboring a cancer in one of my ovaries.
That incident stretched over nearly two year...an adventure with chemo that took away the strength in my legs...hair loss (much more traumatic than I had expected) and a loss of recall..i.e. names and words that dropped out of my memory like dead leaves.
Then, while slowly recovering, we drove over a bump on Rte 70 and I received a sudden jab to my back, extending down my left leg and making it impossible for me to walk without support (a cane or crutches). We were headed for a cruise through the Panama Canal and I was unwilling to give up...so I hobbled along for over 8000 miles (that's the distance the boat traveled..not me)..from Miami to San Diego.
When we got home we joined a gym and I went to work trying to recover the lost strength by swimming up and down a warm pool. It helped until several sharp pains in my belly (which should have warned me) culminated in a hurried visit to another hospital..where they removed my gallbladder. Again, the weakness and frustration came...bearing me along this tide of misfortune..away from the comfort of my own strength and forcing me to depend on others. Gone were the hard-earned gains of leg strength...gone was the idea that hospital stays were quickly productive..gone forever.
But there is a scripture that rings in my head..It's the incident where Jesus heals the lepers..only He didn't heal them on the spot...Scripture says..."as they went they were healed" With that driving me, I've launched into more exercise, pushing myself into public occasions and familiar routines, and hoping that I will be healed as I go.
I'm also hoping that the currents that drive me in the future will have a more gentle nature..
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
One of the bends in our river came when we were transferred to Washington DC.
We had been living in Westchester, NY. First there was an apartment, a husband and two little girls (born just one year apart). Then there was a larger apartment, a baby boy, two sisters, and a husband. Finally, there was a tall English Tudor, two little girls, and two little boys. We lived close to family, college and high school friends.. I was busy and happy.
But in DC our lives changed. We had a bigger house, a small sailboat on the Potomac, and children who were now at school all day. I painted the new house and wondered what I would be doing with the rest of my life. I tried playing bridge, got pretty good at the game, but was bored with the life style.
I was busy all summer with swimming lessons, swim meets, and new friends. But I wanted to do something more demanding, something that would allow me to work when the kids were at school but be home when they were home. School!!! That, I thought, could provide the answer.
Fairfax, Va has a county-wide school system and they were advertising for teachers. I had the right college credits and so I applied and went for an interview.
The young man who interviewed me was pleasant enough; but he made it clear that he thought I was too old. (I was 37). I was furious. I didn’t think of myself as"old." I had been rejected. As I left the office, I flung a parting comment over my shoulder, “I hope everyone you hire gets pregnant.”
The Lord works in mysterious ways…. A short while later I saw an advertisement in the paper for a "home-bound teacher". I applied and was enthusiastically accepted. That decision changed my life for years to come. The Lord had taken this opportunity to bend my river toward a pet project of His...kids with problems.
Oh yes, I even got the last laugh. When I was in line waiting for my TB X-ray a young woman approached me. She was the secretary of the man who had previously interviewed and rejected me. She was laughing. “Aren't you the lady who wished that everyone my boss hired would get pregnant?” I nodded. “Well, they did…most of them are expecting before the year is out.”
Th
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas 2009...Houston, Texas
Here I sit in my daughter Gail's living room...surrounded by six wonderful grandchildren and Ellie, my sweet granddaughter. How did I get to this stage of my life? It went by so fast and it has been so good. A wonderful husband, beautiful children, grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren. I find myself sitting watching them with wonder. God has been so good to me. So good to me.
My life has been surrounded by love and light...through difficult times and wonder filled moments.. The Lord has always been close..making sense out of all our experiences and drawing us closer and closer to His side. How kind. How gracious. How generous. Who am I? I can only answer, "His child"
My life has been surrounded by love and light...through difficult times and wonder filled moments.. The Lord has always been close..making sense out of all our experiences and drawing us closer and closer to His side. How kind. How gracious. How generous. Who am I? I can only answer, "His child"
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
With hope that we never lose sight of this.
George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1789
"Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both House of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness;
Now therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been able to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.
And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations, especially such as have shown kindness to us, and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best."
"Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both House of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness;
Now therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been able to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.
And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations, especially such as have shown kindness to us, and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best."
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Back from a trip through the Panama Canal
Rol has always wanted to see the Panama Canal...so, late in October, we sailed from Miami on Royal Caribbean's "Serenade of the Sea," for a trip through the canal.
I have to admit that I was less than excited about seeing the canal. But I have changed my mind. It was really fascinating to watch the ship transit the locks. Our ship slipped through with only a few feet to spare.
We passed through on a pleasant sunny day (unusual in the rainy season). Rain is really the resource that makes the locks work. The water flows into the locks from a created lake high along the continental divide, rather than being pumped up into them... Although, I understand that the new locks now being built will require reclaiming some of the used water.
The cost to our ship for its transit was $350,000. Next year this cost will rise to $500,000. and Royal Caribbean is not planning to come back for a while.
The ship was lovely and our accommodations were very nice. We rented an inside room and were very comfortable. We saved a considerable amount of money by booking our own air flight through Southwest Airlines. They allow booking legs. ..i.e. Philadelphia to Miami (one way) and San Diego (one way) back to Philadelphia.
We thought that the entertainment in the early evening was not as good as the entertainment we experienced a few years ago on an Alaska trip...I suppose they are trying to cut corners too. The food was good and plentiful.
we registered for four side trips and were fortunate that 3 of them were canceled. We quickly found that we could buy the same trips cheaper right at the dock and saved a quite a bit, while enjoying the same sights and excitement.
All in all, the trip was great...Rol had his interest in the locks satisfied and we both enjoyed ourselves..
I have to admit that I was less than excited about seeing the canal. But I have changed my mind. It was really fascinating to watch the ship transit the locks. Our ship slipped through with only a few feet to spare.
We passed through on a pleasant sunny day (unusual in the rainy season). Rain is really the resource that makes the locks work. The water flows into the locks from a created lake high along the continental divide, rather than being pumped up into them... Although, I understand that the new locks now being built will require reclaiming some of the used water.
The cost to our ship for its transit was $350,000. Next year this cost will rise to $500,000. and Royal Caribbean is not planning to come back for a while.
The ship was lovely and our accommodations were very nice. We rented an inside room and were very comfortable. We saved a considerable amount of money by booking our own air flight through Southwest Airlines. They allow booking legs. ..i.e. Philadelphia to Miami (one way) and San Diego (one way) back to Philadelphia.
We thought that the entertainment in the early evening was not as good as the entertainment we experienced a few years ago on an Alaska trip...I suppose they are trying to cut corners too. The food was good and plentiful.
we registered for four side trips and were fortunate that 3 of them were canceled. We quickly found that we could buy the same trips cheaper right at the dock and saved a quite a bit, while enjoying the same sights and excitement.
All in all, the trip was great...Rol had his interest in the locks satisfied and we both enjoyed ourselves..
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
What if There is No God!
He was about twelve years old; the freckles on his face gave him a Tom Sawyer appearance. A week at the beach had tanned his face and reddened his nose. When he saw our church banner, he strode across the boardwalk and paused in front of a pile of children’s books. Deliberately pointing his small finger at a colorful book titled “God loves you” he loudly proclaimed, “There is no God!!! It’s all a Big Bang.”
I was admittedly taken back; such authoritative misinformation from such a small person. I countered as pleasantly as I could, “Who started the Big Bang?” But it was no use. He became angry and shouted, “It’s all a Big Bang,” again and left.
An hour later he was back, walking with adults along the boardwalk. I turned to a companion and said, “There’s my friend.” The boy overheard and shouted back, “You’re not my friend,” and hastened to catch up with his companions.
And he was right! I had not been his friend. I had fenced with him on a childish level; but his faith was well established in the anti-God world of pseudo-wisdom. What should I have done? What should I have said?
How I longed to hug him, to point to the sky above, to show him the size of the universe. I wanted to talk to him about the complexity and value of his own mind and body. But someone got to him before I did; and they had taught him that the whole world was without any purpose . . . that he was without value, without hope.
He was angry. Who could blame him! He wore his disbelief like a protective shield and shot his words like bullets. But he was the victim of his own words, and the repeated words of others. Where had that anger come from? There was no amusement, no challenge allowed, no room for intellectual discussion.
I thought of other children far across the world whose families strap them with bombs and send them into public places to do as much damage as they can do as they die. They sacrifice the young lives on an altar of anger; for what? So that they can live in a world controlled by fear and hate?
Our country has become a nation of frustration. We have locked God and godly argument out of our schools and educational institutions. Now we are in the grips of drugs, disenchantment, frustration, and hopelessness.
Over the years we had been welcome at our booth near the beach. The town chief of police supported our effort to give out smiles, hope, and encouragement. But this year there had been trouble. We had been shouted at; our quiet music drowned out by loud speakers pointed in our direction carrying music with words that caused my mind to despair. We had to get a lawyer there to allow us to continue. Policemen stood across the boardwalk to make sure that I didn’t pass a book or flyer to anyone. What has happened to my country, to the freedom I knew. Why did a little boy make me so sad. Why couldn’t I give him hope?
I was admittedly taken back; such authoritative misinformation from such a small person. I countered as pleasantly as I could, “Who started the Big Bang?” But it was no use. He became angry and shouted, “It’s all a Big Bang,” again and left.
An hour later he was back, walking with adults along the boardwalk. I turned to a companion and said, “There’s my friend.” The boy overheard and shouted back, “You’re not my friend,” and hastened to catch up with his companions.
And he was right! I had not been his friend. I had fenced with him on a childish level; but his faith was well established in the anti-God world of pseudo-wisdom. What should I have done? What should I have said?
How I longed to hug him, to point to the sky above, to show him the size of the universe. I wanted to talk to him about the complexity and value of his own mind and body. But someone got to him before I did; and they had taught him that the whole world was without any purpose . . . that he was without value, without hope.
He was angry. Who could blame him! He wore his disbelief like a protective shield and shot his words like bullets. But he was the victim of his own words, and the repeated words of others. Where had that anger come from? There was no amusement, no challenge allowed, no room for intellectual discussion.
I thought of other children far across the world whose families strap them with bombs and send them into public places to do as much damage as they can do as they die. They sacrifice the young lives on an altar of anger; for what? So that they can live in a world controlled by fear and hate?
Our country has become a nation of frustration. We have locked God and godly argument out of our schools and educational institutions. Now we are in the grips of drugs, disenchantment, frustration, and hopelessness.
Over the years we had been welcome at our booth near the beach. The town chief of police supported our effort to give out smiles, hope, and encouragement. But this year there had been trouble. We had been shouted at; our quiet music drowned out by loud speakers pointed in our direction carrying music with words that caused my mind to despair. We had to get a lawyer there to allow us to continue. Policemen stood across the boardwalk to make sure that I didn’t pass a book or flyer to anyone. What has happened to my country, to the freedom I knew. Why did a little boy make me so sad. Why couldn’t I give him hope?
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