For Millie...the nicest shar pei that ever lived..

Millie, our Shar Pei passed on last March.

She'd been dragging a bit, but the Vet said she was okay; so we took her with us for a month in Florida. On the first night out she was terribly sick.
The next morning we took her to a local vet outside Richmond. He thought it was the car ride; but Millie had happily joined us on many journeys and we were uncertain.

We went on..a bit more slowly..stopping an extra night along the way before going on to Marathon. She didn't get sick again, but it didn't take a vet to say that things were not good. We went straight to her favorite "puppy park" and she managed to chase a slow moving gecko; but that night she couldn't eat. She patiently stood while we fed her Ensure through a syringe.

She slept; but in the morning we asked a neighbor to recommend another vet. He took X-rays and even I could see that her esophagus had swollen to fill most of her throat and all of her chest. There was nothing he could do and finally, feeling like we were betraying her, we let him put Millie into her final sleep.

We spent the rest of the vacation at the cottage we had rented, trying to keep busy with one thing or another and trying to convince ourselves that we had done the best we could. It didn't work very well.

We found a nice box for her ashes and returned in a very empty car to a very empty house. She is buried under the lilac bush with a small angel statue standing guard

Somewhere along the way home I misplaced my bible and it almost seemed like I had misplaced God. I had been given the responsibility of loving that little creature; but I had been inadequate. The words, "If only I'd...." kept popping into my mind.

But life goes on. March turned into April and we celebrated the first grandchild wedding.
Every step I took was painful and I was looking forward to having my knee replaced. I had been bothered by it for a year before we went to Florida, seen a couple of surgeons, and finally made arrangements with a well known surgeon to do it on May 10.

The surgery took my mind off Millie. It was very successful, but it required most of my time and efforts to get the new knee to operate in coordination with the rest of me. By July I was really feeling like myself again, with the exception of the empty place in our house and hearts.

Finally, we decided to look for a new Shar Pei, it would be our third (Mei Lei had come before Millie and was also buried in the back yard.

Finding a, can we say it.."replacement", dog was not easy. We saw quite a few Shar Pei's and then saw an advertisement for home-grown Labradoodles. I had never seen one before.

We sat in the breeder's backyard and watched as her two remaining puppies chased each other across a porch while the parent dogs watched from behind a tall fence.

I was dubious, but suddenly one of the pups laid down right in front of Rol, spread her legs out in back of herself like a little frog. It has been Millie's favorite position and we were smitten.

We picked the puppy up the next day, took her to Millie's vet, and bought her on the way home.

Do I feel less emotional about Millie..No, I used up several tissues writing this.
Do I think we are nuts bringing home another dog when we are 80 years old? Probably.

But life without Millie will not change. Life with a dog companion can go on and so we are back to potty training, leash training, vet visits...but we have a purpose and a friend. Life goes on.